Diary of a Mormon Mother

Dear teenage girls,

I've got something to say. I was young and single once and I'm not old enough to have forgotten it yet. I may seem ancient to you at the ripe age of 36 but I'd like to think I've learned a thing or two about life. I once lived in a totally different world than you. It may even seem like a fairy tale. I lived in a world where the only 'instant' thing was a microwave and even that took a few minutes. We didn't have iPhones, snapchat, instagram, facebook, pinterest, text messaging, FaceTime or even digital cameras. What that meant is that I had to use the family phone to call my friends. We had to talk to the boys we liked at school or at the mall. I had no idea how many people did or didn't 'like' my new haircut or jeans or vacation pictures unless they were brave enough to say it to my face (or to my friend who would totally tell me later). Junior high was hard and scary but it served as a rite of passage to high school which was fun and carefree and awesome. I grew up in a beach community where we skipped school to hang out at the beach. My parents could't find me if I wasn't where I was supposed to be and that was okay with me (until I got caught and grounded). We used maps instead of GPS, we had pay phones, and life was pretty darn fun.

But that's not the world you live in. Boys are still boys and girls are still girls. That much hasn't changed. Your heart still leaps out of your chest when a hot guy talks to you. The butterflies still take permanent residence in your stomach at the beginning of a new relationship. But everything else is sooo  different. You declare your relationship status to the world with one click. (Do you even know what a DTR is?) Every stupid thing you text or post or do is probably recorded on someone's iPhone for freaking forever. That selfie you took and posted but thought better of later? Too late. It's out there. That mean text you wrote when it was late and you weren't thinking clearly? Saved forever by the girl that hates you. That picture your mom took of you at the pool and posted to her instagram? It's now the screensaver on some creeper's iPhone. My point is, you are way more famous than you even know. Everyone knows what you are doing, where you are going, who you are with and the choices you are making.

Someday you are going to care about your reputation. Someday you are going to want to make a good first impression (think new boyfriend, mission president, boss, future in-laws....). So you might clean up your FB and instagram a little. Delete some of those pictures that don't show the best you. Too late. Damage is done. The only way to look squeaky clean is to be squeaky clean. Don't post that picture. Don't send that text.

I am a mother to four boys. What I have learned as a mother is that I never understood boys at all when I was a teenage girl. AT ALL. You think you do. In fact you are probably laughing at me right now and rolling your eyes. Trust me when I say, you don't know. You have no idea. God created us to be different for a reason but it's hard to understand those differences when you are a kid. I even had two brothers and still didn't get it.

So what does a mother of boys care about the teenage girls in their world? I care about everything. I care about how you girls act, and talk, and how you feel about yourself. I care about the texts you send and the pictures you post. If I could gather you all up in a great big hug, I would. I would tell you all that you are beautiful and wonderful and talented and amazing because you are. I am amazed at how smart and interesting and creative you girls are. Someday my boys are each going to choose one wonderful girl to marry and I will love them like the daughters I never had. If I could know and sit down with those four girls right now we would be having a very private conversation about this instead. Someday you will most likely be a wife and a mother and I'd like for you to be the best you can be. In order for that to happen, I want to share a few things I've learned about this world you live in. Will you please at least consider the following advice?

Social media DON'Ts...

Don't be fooled that a 'private' account will protect you. It helps, but you still have an audience.
Don't text a boy after 10pm for entertainment or conversation.
Don't text or snapchat in your bedroom or the bathroom.
Don't let your friends take your phone and text people as you.
Don't ask a boy anything that you wouldn't ask your dad.
Don't post suggestive pictures, but this seems to be vague so I'm going to spell it out...
Don't post a picture of yourself in your bathing suit unless you don't care about creepers.
Don't take a picture of your chest to show off a new necklace.
Don't post a picture of you in the bathtub. Not your legs, your toes, nothing.
Don't post a picture of yourself lying on the ground unless you are wearing an oversized t-shirt that covers your entire upper body. ;)

Social media DOs...

Do remember that you are awesome. Never let anyone make you feel like you aren't.
Do know that your texts and pictures are probably being seen by that cute boy's mother and/or father.
Do give your own parents access to your phone and accounts.
Do ignore texts or delete pictures that are inappropriate or make you feel uncomfortable.
Do remember that anyone with an iPhone can save a screenshot of anything.
Do post pictures of you with your friends having fun.
Do dress modestly and act modestly.
Do keep your language clean.
Do find ways to uplift others through your texts and posts.
Do remember that this moment will live on and on and on, even if you don't want it to.

Girls, I care about you. I want you to come hang out with me. I want my boys to treat you with respect and kindness. I want you to have the fun carefree teenage years that I did. I want you to have happy, successful lives. If you think of something I've forgotten, leave it in the comments. It's a pretty awesome world we live in but I think you are smarter than most adults and we are finally catching on to the responsibility that comes with this cool technology. And to think some people were worried about the microwave....